A Birthday Candle for My Dead Friend
Happy birthday, Donald! It’s been almost 12 years since he died, but a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of him, and a year doesn’t go by without celebrating his birthday.
I’m so grateful that my spiritual practice brought us closer together again, because for years I felt so desperately alone in my grief. Of course, I wish my friend got to live the long life he should have (he died unexpectedly at 23). But if it has to be the way that it is, I’m glad to have our friendship that endures even death.
Death doesn’t have to mean the end. I’ve learned to accept it as the transition of a physical relationship into a spiritual one, and an opportunity to foster new methods of communication. I connect with my friend in my mind, through tarot and magick, while listening to music (Wu-Tang was his fave), and sometimes by smoking weed.
If you’re someone who’s missing someone that passed, please know that you don’t have to be a spiritual person to feel close to the ones you love. It can be as simple as leaning into the things you love about that person and your relationship with them. Listen to their favorite music. Prepare their favorite meal. Watch their favorite show. Go on that hike or that drive that ya’ll used to go on all the time. Grief is not linear and it never really ends. I’ve found that working *with* my grief instead of against it has brought me a lot more peace. I’m wishing that for all of yous, too. 🖤
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Here is what I included in Donald’s birthday candle:
Frankincense - Enhances spirit communication
Orange rose petals - My own intention around our enduring friendship. Orange is a color I associate with Donald.
Weed - Birthday sesh/offering
