I Used My Rollator for the First Time and Was Met With Ableist Bullshit

It felt very cute and correct to use my rollator for the first time at John Waters’ Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony today. What was not cute and correct was the dude who yelled at me for advocating for myself and my space. I’m still feeling really sad about it, but I’m tryna remember that there were way more people who were kind and accommodating than the one ableist asshole whose friend had to pull him away.

I talked to my queer “dad” about it afterwards. They also use mobility aids, and they reminded me the hard truth that advocating for ourselves is probably never gonna end. They told me that in those situations, they remain firm about the space they hold no matter what some random ass holes might assert. Even though my feelings got hurt, my actions in the moment were just that. I stood up for myself and took my space back when someone tried to take it away from me. I’m really proud about that.

This situation got me thinking about what else I could have said in the moment. It’s really helpful for me to keep some scripts in my back pocket for moments like this when I get caught off guard. But when I posted this on Instagram, someone commented with a super important reminder: Maybe we don’t have to respond because we don’t owe aggressive ass holes any of our time or energy. That was a really freeing piece of feedback, and that’s what I’ll keep in my back pocket for next time (because we all know there’s gonna be a fuckin’ next time).